I’ve been letting my mind do the thinking as of late…you know, just letting it run wild…and from this…my yonder-days emerge as the entirely dominating force behind my unhindered thoughts. Just as the impulse of the pulse…the compulsion of my memories becomes this great palpitation of the mind. The ever-exhausting feat of recollection takes its toll on my night’s sleep…or sleepless nights. When night draws near and I feel I should rest, I find no better solace than in the preoccupation of my mind - by the senseless thoughts and illusions ignited by its eye. When void of lively thought, I find myself in no other place than that of regret and desolation. I wish I told her how important she was to me, and how much I valued her. I’ve never written this down…though the thought persistently enters my mind…I hate getting too specific on this blogger thing…and I never have…I’m sorry…I miss you. You’re a good friend. I need rest…and I know I never will until I make peace. When night falls and I’m in the dark…just before my mind begins to slip into lifelessness…I always think of the sky…it’s vast and black emptiness…with those pale shards engraved in its design…and suddenly, I say to my self…“Just end it”…and I don’t know what that's suppose to mean exactly…yet, somehow I think it says that I want my last moments to be afloat amidst the serenity of a heavenly body…somewhere alone…cold…and beautiful.Celestially,
BR80
