"Meditation XVII"

Every person is connected...because every person dies...and since all life ends...all life is shared. Maybe that's nonsensical hippie jive...but I'm trying to appreciate life from death...and thus far, it's a hurting thing to do...because as much as her death is a tribute to the greatness of life...it nevertheless blares the deafening truth of our mortality. Johnny said it best: "Nunc Lento Sonitu Dicunt, Morieris (Now, this bell tolling softly for another, says to me, Thou must die)".

-Brady

"...all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another. As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness.

. . .

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

-John Donne (1623)

Rock...Paper...Scissors

I was on the train about two months ago sitting across from a strange fellow...he was in his 20s...shifty...but nonetheless normal in appearance. I hadn't really given him a second thought...that is until he started acting fidgety. I tried to ignore the behavior...as most people try to do on the train. I got a vibe...but I couldn't predict his next move. Suddenly, the man leaned forward with his fist extended outward toward me...not in a threatening manner, mind you...but rather, as if he wanted a game of rock-paper-scissors.

I was skeptical for a moment...yet I complied. Without a word said I held out my fist and we began to play. First game...a stalemate...both rock. Second...I win...paper beats rock. Third game...I won again...scissors beat paper. I guess we were playing best-two-out-of-three. He had a hard time hiding his disappointment...but regardless, not a word was spoken...he sat back in his seat and-just as it had began-we stared out the train window in silence. I wasn't exactly sure as to what had transpired in that moment...but I didn't care. A few stops later I was off the train and on my way.

I hadn't thought of that little incident until recently...it puzzles me now...but wasn't that the guy's point? Wasn't he trying to behave strangely on purpose? I'll never know...and frankly, his actions don't concern me. There are others, however, who are just as (if not more) oddball in nature...others who outright harass train passengers. I've dealt with my share...the crackheads...the punks...the creeps...they're out there to hurt someone. I've been fortunate enough to defuse any real problems...but I fear the day I get wrapped up in some mugging or random stabbing...law of odds I suppose. Until then...lets just hope every train ride is a harmless game of rock-paper-scissors.

-Brady

Path Aplenty

I'm completely immobilized...a serious case of life paralysis. I have yet to choose a path these days. It's times like these where one could take a wrong turn...a turn for the worse...turn in circles...or turn out badly. These days, it's the solutions that don't make sense...not the problems. The problems are quite clear. I've always had a desire to fix the things that break in my life...fix the people...fix the issues...find the solutions...the answers. But there are no answers now. No remedy in reach...just a mess of thoughts and a lot of speculation as to my next course of action...my next direction...the next move. I hope it's the right one. Until then...since I'm stopped...I mine as well have a rest.

-Brady