Peeps over Principles

I can’t seem to come to terms with the people of this world. The very leaders of our society, lest we offend someone, decree all principles acceptable and offer consent to every morally decrepit concept (fathomed by any self indulging fiend). Yet simultaneously, this same society tells us, though we may never counter another’s beliefs, we have the utter freedom to hate individuals themselves…because hey, this is more acceptable. We’d rather hate a person than their choices. Still, I always thought it was better to despise the belief and respect the person. But I suppose to some degree, it’s more important in our culture to hang the thief than to prosecute their principles.

Computing,
BR80

A Matter of Seconds

I mused over my own joke, while my friend glared, and I began to wonder: "How is it that a person can be so callous?" The cold eyes grew on me as though they yearned to brutally devour me in that single moment...and that's all it was really...a moment. Couldn't have been more than a few seconds. Yet, a moment is all it takes to break one's confidence and scorn a lonely heart. I reflected on the importance of taking two steps out of my stride to pay attention to every person...each one. And suddenly, as instantaneous as the thought proceeding, this notion crept up on my mind quicker than ever before: Only by my suffering would I awake to the shrill reality of the suffering of others. An abrupt guilt rushed over me. Who had I abandoned in the wake of my life? I was positive I'd done it many times, to many people, to people that needed someone! After a brief but tedious reflection I realized I couldn't be there for everyone, and that many would rather not be helped, feeling no help is sought. Yet still, I had to try to do something...or anything. I have a responsibility. And it was all seen so clearly in that single moment. I need to contact some people.

Via Blog,
BR80

Tally ustd/!!1

mY kybord hsn’t en wokingg tonigt. mostl w typin; 'T', 'E', "r", 'O", and 'b'. I’s seeeosly busd1!!

sEnerly;
R80

Waiting in Purgatory when suddenly, outright stupefied, I catch eye of an Angel.

"Death be not proud"

Today I was asked whether or not I would have any regrets if I died tonight...and I don't feel I would have any. I was pressed further and asked whether or not I would feel any disappointment towards the fact that I would not have had the chance to experience the great things of life such as love, contentment, and the fruits of growing old...and yet again, I don't feel I would have any regrets. If I am to die tonight, it is because I was never suppose to experience such things fully, therefore I would miss nothing, but instead, fulfill my purpose.

"DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so...

...One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die."

-John Donne

I think everyone's been contemplating their own mortality since the thousands died the 26th...well, at least most have been. Everyone dies. I was once told that every secular person, in their time of death, will struggle to accept the Darwinian approach to mortality. Believing we are destined for nothingness doesn't sit too well with the nearly departed. Because a prospect like that isn't only depressing...it's frightening. Who would truly believe in nothingness when they themselves are on their death-bed slipping into the dark? I mean, I'm sure Darwin had some regrets when he was dieing...who wouldn't when you believe you're merely worm food, destined for nothing more than a burial. People lose their lives every day, and sometimes thousands die in a single moment, so it is for this reason that we must put a face to every number to maintain the sanctity of human life, not simply for the reason that every person is an evolved creature, but because every human being is blessed with a soul and a purpose, whether in life or death, beyond all comprehension.

Pensively Pensive,

BR80

A Mirror with a Memory

Seeing friends, catching up, chewing the fat, and such...it's rad. Meeting up with some of the friends that made it home for the holidays reminded me of old times, even if those days aren't far behind me, I still need just a little reminder of how things were. And things were awesome.

"Life's a garden...dig it!"

I suppose in a way I both love and hate photos. I think time has a way of skewing perspective, and the best way to see how things truly were is by gazing into a moment via photography. Sometimes a single glance at a photo can set your mind ablaze with all kinds of revelations of the past. I ponder a lot, and I'm a very visual person by nature, so naturally, catching sight of a sentimental photo is an ignition for my mind in a gargantuan way. There are some thoughts I'd rather not think, and some memories I’d rather not recall, however, sooner or later one of those ancient and forgotten photos (one that captured the face of a person you’d just soon forget) rears in a heartbreaking way. But all-in-all, I’m pretty satisfied and completely thankful for the time I shared with friends this break...new and old, photographed and otherwise.

Done Typing,
BR80

Mad

I'm definitely not an angry person, and anyone that knows me knows this. I haven't much pent up rage, however, no one in this world infuriates me more than my own brother. In complete honesty, I have yet to meet someone I could possibly hate, but nothing comes as close as the sheer frustration he brings me. Patience can only wear so thin. I'm human...cursed. For real.

Seeing Red,
BR80

The Prospects

I feel lost...I need some direction. I need to know my purpose for the future. And in the end I think nothing answers the questions of the unknown like a vigorous round of M.A.S.H.

|||| |||| = 10

Home: Mansion Apartment Shack House

Lady Friends: Ashley Emma Jessica Oprah

Children: Zero Two Nine Five

Vehicles: HUMMER Go Kart Helicopter Creepy Van

Locations: Mountainous hillside Tropical paradise Downtown metropolis Middle of the Ocean

Things: Laser Gun Jet-Pack Sky Scraper Flaming Nunchucks

Finally I can rest easy knowing the truth.

-BR80, Circa 1985

Girl with a Pearl Earring

My heart the sheath of twinge and pain
Can't seal this day for mind to gain
So hold this time and taste the rinds of vine grown living skin
And know the veins that bleed my blood by every drop within

"Robitussin!"

I was in a car accident two years ago this November. My back still hurts. Unfortunately, I'ma real lightweight when it comes to most drugs...especially muscle relaxers...they're like horse tranquilizer on me. I lose complete control of my appendages. Anyhoo...I took some. Hopefully they don't interfere with my progress in using that high-powered band-saw today.

Throw'n it to the wind,
BR80

Thought Filled

I'm not trying to be angsty. I'm only writing this because I have too many thoughts and they're starting to overwhelm me. I pray to God often, asking for forgiveness, patience, wisdom, and peace. I struggle so much with just being able to let things go. I plague myself with all sorts of memories and "what-could-have-been" scenarios. I've had many new experiences in the last two years, many more then I've ever had throughout my entire life. Most have been eye opening, and many, somewhat disappointing. I always have such great expectations, and such hope in others. I pray a lot, I ask for peace...but in asking for peace I only drown my mind in a compulsive prayer, a repetitive ritual that slowly loses its coherence...and that's not peace...that's torture.

I experienced some closeness the other night. It was a physical closeness. Something I haven't felt in a long time. It was simple; it was just the touch of another person. I've been lonesome. I never compromise my principles...they're who I am. That's what made the other night so important to me, I didn't have to compromise, because I wasn't desperate for attention or affection, I wasn't searching for another person to feel close to...it just happened, and it felt really real. Yet at the time, even in my state of peace, I understood how fleeting that moment of closeness would be. It was an incredibly bittersweet night. It's amazing what alcohol does to the mind. Not my mind, but the minds of others. I recall the night with perfect clarity, and it's the clarity of these memories that plague me...they're gonna be in my head for a while. It breaks my heart to know that I'm the only one that has these memories. Even the person I felt close to has no recollection. So what's that mean?

I think it means the other night was just as real as any of my dreams, and just as short-lived. A dream is something one can only experience for themselves, and no other person can share. I had an experience the other night that I can't share with anyone, not even the girl I held. I'm the only one with a memory of that evening, and without the ability to share that experience, it mine as well had not even happened. I suppose this is what's been on my mind, and now it's on a blog. I'm not pathetic, I'm just hopeful. Hopeful that someday soon I'll find a closeness that's anything but fleeting. A relationship that reminds me how real and tactile affection is. But, is that love? I dunno.

Afflicted,
BR80

Lest We Forget

God's plan can't be dissected, it cannot be understood. Socrates said, "The only true knowledge is knowing that you know nothing", and it's the same in faith. True faith is knowing we know nothing and yet still believing. Everyone has faith, even an atheist requires faith to genuinely believe in the non-existence of God. All I'm saying is that in times of stress we've got to have the faith to look outside our selves and even outside this world for answers or we'll go mad. It's Remembrance Day and throughout history terrible things have happened on and off the battlefields. It's only human nature to want to hurt one another, and a thought like that is enough to down right depress. Maybe we should all pray for the strength to withstand what we don't understand. I mean, come'on, why not?

Recollecting,

BR80

The Young Martyr

"What worries you, masters you."
-John Locke

1 pete-5.7

When Potato Monkeys Attack

So this guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a martini. Just before he can take a sip of the drink a potato monkey runs up, sticks its thumb in the martini glass, and then takes off running again. This infuriates the man. So he asks the bartender, "Whose the potato monkey belong to?" the bartender replies, "The guy playing the piano". So the man goes over to the piano player and asks him, "Do you know your potato monkey just put its thumb in my martini?" to which the piano player replies, "No. Why don't you hum it for me."

Awesome.

Tomfooling,
BR80

10 Things Everyone Should Own and Experience

10) A Baseball Glove - Hey, throwing stuff is fun

9) A Boardgame - One of the only ways we get to still play together as full grown adults

8) Passport - The key to travel, and travel offers some seeeerious growth

7) Good Music - Helps pass the time and eases the mind

6) An Encyclopedia - "The unexamined life is not worth living"

5) A Pellet Gun - The thrill of making a bottle explode from 20ft away

4) Lava Lamp - Awesome looking...Seriously, the colours blow my mind

3) Bicycle - Total freedom, completely self powered

2) Camera - The ability to capture a moment in time forever

1) A Bible - Teachings, not to condemn, but to improve quality of life

From: BR80

No Penny for my Thoughts

I never understood why anyone would write their thoughts and feelings online for the world to read and analyze. So I thought I'd give er' a try just to see what it's all about. It's all pretty unsettling though. It's easy for readers to criticize someone else's life and blog entries when they don't see the whole picture. People are deeper then any journal entry can express, there's always more to a person.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."

- Plato

Although journaling online is sorta weird its also kinda wicked cool, some stranger might get to know you better then you know yourself...actually, scratch that, it's not wicked cool...it's very strange.

Hand typed,
BR80