Trained

“How do you guys always get here so fast?” I asked. “Police scanners” the reporter replied with a tone of total coolness. I mean, the accident happened so quickly, veering from the regular stream of life so suddenly, that I was startled to find myself speaking with the reporter moments after the c-train I was on had collided with a truck and trailer. Although, not singularly the most astounding event in itself, I caught myself enthralled by the action, the madness, and the utter chaos forged around me, all by a vehicle careening through a crossing arm and into a train. Like the many abnormal events of my life, this one left me to ponder my mind out of its skull.

"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."
-Thomas H. Huxley

Initially, just after the crash occurred, I began reflecting on, of all things, the probability of this happening to me. Next, the implications of fate ran through my mind, followed by thoughts of confusion surrounding how and why this event had occurred. And before I could even fathom the full extent of the situation I glanced out the train window to see the man, in his truck, his head barley moving. Suddenly, my mind switched gears…I was helpless to help him. I had failed to notice the grisly and crippled truck just outside my window, and even more unnoticed was the man himself, buried under a heap of metal. I don’t know, I’m usually pretty hard on myself with most things, and this awful scenario was no exception. An ambulance arrived in due time, and a helicopter took the driver to the hospital…yet I couldn’t help but think of what I should've done in aid for the man. Yet, limited by mere first aid training, I’m still riddled with a guilt grip of responsibility. But the truth was, I was too afraid to do a thing. I asked myself: “Do I really think I have the moral fibre to approach this truck, peer into its twisted insides, and hope of finding a human life to save?” No, I don’t have that fearlessness. I can wish all I want and convince myself that I knew what to do, but I was utterly self-doubting in that moment. I can’t even begin to deny what a huge responsibility it is to try and save a life. I affirmed (since this accident) that I will never shirk the importance of knowledge, that which can be used to save another's life, and for this, I will begin Emergency Medical Responder training this spring. Maybe then I can help as many people along the way as possible. But first I’ll need a reeeeal good police scanner.

Insured,
BR80